Lucky me!
This morning, somewhere in the rolling hills of western Maryland, an angry old man is ranting against America and its constitutionally established institutions. Amongst the targets of his diatribes are the Supreme Court and the decisions with which he disagrees. He's calling the court's rulings "illegitimate" and "dangerous"... he's characterizing them as "destabilizing."
Joe Biden has jetted off for another long-weekend vacation, this time to Camp David, to celebrate the 4th of July weekend. But celebrating the 4th of July seems antipodally at odds with his anti-American rants. That's because the holiday represents the birth of a systemically racist country founded by white supremacists, a place that's never been exceptional, a place filled with archaic, patriarchal institutions... like the Supreme Court, all of which continue to oppress real patriots... Joe Biden supporters who burn the flag and promise to renounce their citizenship... but never do.
So, as Joe Biden stumbles around Camp David, dripping ice cream on his shirt and falling off bicycles, yet another ruling by the Supreme Court has left Joe Biden supporters apoplectic. The court ruled that the EPA cannot enact regulations by administrative fiat; instead, congress must pass laws to address the problems identified. What a novel idea!
In response, Barack Obama, Al Gore, and Joe Biden's current climate change czar, the jet-setting John Kerry, have issued apocalyptically dire climate change warnings... each from his oceanfront estate, apparently immune from the "rising seas" they assure us will soon wash away the world's coastlines.
Meanwhile, the planet's most scholarly climatologist has weighed in, too... Sandy Cortez, former Boston University party girl and erstwhile bartender, has made an unequivocal declaration based upon her vast knowledge and experience in matters of water and ice... critical components of a bourbon and branch on the rocks. She's taken time off from bashing the repeal of Roe v. Wade to warn against the Supreme Court's EPA ruling... it will most assuredly hasten the planet's demise and, according to Sandy Cortez, even before the decision, we had less than 10 years to live.
Which is great news as far as I'm concerned; it inspired my opening line... "Lucky me!"
That's because 10 years, assuming I even make it through another day, would put me at 81, which seriously bumps-up against my expiration date. How reassuring it is to know I won't be making my exit alone. If Sandy Cortez is right... and to question her would be misogynistic, racist, and discriminatory against those with toothy equine physiognomies, I'll have plenty of company on the way out... 8 billion-worth, as life on earth comes to its fiery hellscape terminus.
Back at Camp David, Joe Biden rants on, blissfully unaware of anything that challenges his intellectual and cognitive capabilities, which is just about everything. On Monday, he'll be celebrating the 4th of July with a melted ice cream cone in one hand and a sparkler in the other.
Fortunately, Joe Biden's Visiting Angels are proactive so, along with a big supply of Ensure and Depends, they brought along plenty of Silvadene cream for his burned fingers, too.