Chess is racist.
According to those whose lonely miserable lives are devoted to finding racism in everything from math to monkeypox, chess is an oppressive manifestation of patriarchal colonialism and must be abolished. The game, which traces its history from Spain through Persia, back to its origins in India, has been played by people of all colors in places all around the world for the past 1,500 years, but...
None of those decidedly racism-free facts mean anything to professional grievance merchants... basement-dwelling incels who, on any given occasion, can be found waving pro-Palestine signs and stopping traffic, or gluing themselves to the same roadways in protest of fossil fuel. Almost all are scrawny, pasty-white, college indoctrinated wokesters who deign to speak for those they believe are incapable of doing so themselves... like black people, many of whom love playing chess and are very good at it.
No matter... sanctimonious solipsists will never entertain the possibility they could be wrong. And so, they've declared chess to be racist and, because far too many people... mostly liberals sympathetic to the cause, are influenced by what they screech, that's that.
Unless it's possible to change their minds with a few tweaks of the rules. What if Black was awarded the first move? How about renaming Black's royal pieces "Don King" and "Queen Latifa?" Surely wokesters would feel differently if the ever-so racist term, Chess "Master," was eliminated?! Let's hope.
Or maybe race-hustlers should be totally ignored... allow them to rant and rave, let their wide a-Woke lunacy put them all at a strategic disadvantage. In chess, it's called zugzwang, although...
I'd prefer to once and for all put them in checkmate... permanently.
