Under the heading, "You Can't Make This Spit Up," I submit the following...
But first, to set the stage... Joe Biden visited Pennsylvania twice this week; his campaign is scared spitless he'll lose the Keystone State and, because other, equally critical swing states are trending towards Donald Trump, the people who take him places are becoming ever more desperate, so much so, they're willing to risk giving Joe Biden access to an open microphone.
Their fears are well placed; when he wanders off-script, Joe Biden never fails to tell demonstrable lies... some are malicious and evil, others are hilarious confabulations. During a stop in Pittsburgh, Joe Biden told both kinds.
Behind the scenes, Joe Biden's campaign staff refers to Donald Trump as the "Hitler Pig," and that animus is reflected in Biden's slurred-word anti-Trump diatribes which convey not only disrespect, but hatred, too. Joe Biden and his campaign surrogates are infected with Trump Derangement Syndrome... Joe Biden never mentions how he plans to reverse the multiple disasters he's caused... every often-unintelligible word is confined to Trump-bashing.
But... back to Joe Biden's other prevarications, the hilarious confabulation types... the "you can't make this spit up" theme of this post. Whilst in Pittsburgh, much to the scared spitless fears of the people who take him places, Joe Biden wandered off-script and went full Creedence Clearwater... he took a run through the jungle.
For no apparent reason, Joe Biden told a story about his uncle Ambrose Finnegan. According to Joe, his uncle Finnegan was flying a single-engine aircraft on a reconnaissance mission in the South Pacific when he was shot down by Japanese Zeros. He crash-landed in the jungles of New Guinea and was never heard from again. A search party found the wreckage, but no remains. Joe then told the mesmerized... or was it stupefied audience, that the New Guinea jungles were full of cannibals, suggesting uncle Finnegan had ended up on a dinner plate.
Almost immediately, Joe Biden was outed by The Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency which reported that no such reconnaissance mission was flown or lost. There is a record of a twin-engine aircraft on a courier mission with 4 passengers aboard ditching in the ocean off the coast of New Guinea, but no one named Finnegan was identified when the bodies were recovered; the lone survivor didn't remember anyone named Finnegan.
Joe Biden is many things... doddering, incoherent, and senile, amongst other less than desirable characteristics, but whilst his political positions on just about everything have shifted and reversed over the years, there's been one constant... his battle with the truth. And with every slurred word... contrary to the theme of this post, if you're Joe Biden...
You really CAN make this spit up!